You say it’s your birthday.

I share a birthday month with a very famous figure: the baby Jesus. I will say that it kind of stinks sometimes, only because people are so very busy running around, getting stressed out because of too many parties, too many calories to burn, too many gifts to buy, too many bills to pay. That means a December birthday can be overlooked quite easily (don’t even get me started on the Christmas/Birthday combination gifts). My family has never overlooked my birthday, and because of the holidays, I am often with some or all of them for the celebration (or two or three celebrations). I have also planned my own festivities when not yet home for the holidays – eating delicious food at a fun restaurant with friends is always a great time. For one noteworthy birthday, I went to San Francisco with some girlfriends. But usually, it’s pretty low-key.

Here I am with friends for my birthday weekend in San Francisco.
Guess what we're eating. Guatemalan food of course! 

In all my travels, I have only been overseas on my birthday once. And if you have been following this blog at all, you can guess that that place was Guatemala. So yes, a few years ago, I was in Xela, Guatemala for my birthday. And just like here in the U.S., people were extremely busy with Christmas activities ... shopping, cooking, decorating, buying gifts for a long list of friends and family. I wasn’t planning or expecting anything special for my birthday that year because I was staying with a family I had only known for a couple months. I didn’t need anything special because I was somewhere different and interesting, which was special enough. Plus, at work we were busy wrapping Christmas gifts for all the children in the afterschool program. That was like a party in and of itself! Sitting around with my boss and his family, rockin’ out to music, wrapping gifts for children who would even appreciate a boring pair of socks if that were their gift. How can you beat it?

But the morning of my birthday, as I was getting into the shower, I heard “Pop! Pop! Pop!” outside the window. Firecrackers. They are quite a common sound during the holiday season in Latin America, very celebratory. What I found out when I went to the kitchen for breakfast after getting ready was that the father of my host house had set them off in my honor. It was tradition – lighting firecrackers the morning of someone’s birthday. So cool! 

My birthday was happily eclipsed by the actual Christmas party at the afterschool program, where we gave out the gifts we had been wrapping the day before. Such excitement came from the children of all ages. They were so appreciative of so little. Their cute faces just lit up as they opened their presents. That was even more fantastic than firecrackers.

Here are two of the boys, with their gifts
and refreshments. How cute are they?!

After the holiday party, I went home and one of the daughters had made a dessert for my birthday. It was delicious and so nice that they had thought of me again. I hadn’t been there long, but they were already well aware of how much I loved sweets. Then I went out to dinner with my boss, Jaime, and his wife, Betty. We were able to hang out, talk, enjoy some good food, have a glass of wine and just have fun outside of work (and wrapping gifts). I couldn’t have asked for a nicer day.

 

Here I am, completely mesmerized by the cake
Luci (next to me) had made for me.

I was far from home on that birthday, far away from family and friends. And as is usual this time of year, people were busy. But those I had met in Xela, whom I had only known for a very brief time, made sure they helped me celebrate in some way. I enjoy spending my birthday with loved ones close to home. But on that birthday, being far away from home was very special. If you are lucky enough to travel abroad, and you happen to be in another country on your birthday, I hope you are with people like those I befriended in Guatemala. Because it will be a lifelong memory, one you will remember on those future birthdays at home, one that will stay with you when you don’t have morning firecrackers to wish you “Happy Birthday.”

Read up.

It is the holiday season, the season of giving, the season of buying, the season of pushing and shoving, the season of shoppers in Wal-Mart pepper-spraying one another to get a DVD player on sale. Right. I’m not really into that scene. Shopping amidst madness and mayhem. I do not need to endure such hell. Best of luck to those of you who do.

So anyway, I wanted to put that out there since you may think that in this particular blog post I am trying to get you to buy something. But I am not. I am merely suggesting some interesting reading to those of you who are thinking of a big trip in the coming year. You could put these books on your own Christmas or Hanukkah list. Or you could just skip on down to the library and check them out. I am not receiving any payment from the authors for recommending their books. They don’t even know I’m alive. But I think their books are worth a read, especially for you travelers or wanna-be travelers out there. 

Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World, by Rita Golden Gelman.

The author of this book left her life behind, all things and possessions, and decided to “live in the world,” wherever the wind took her. Her experiences and adventures will intrigue the hell out of you. She is an inspiration to solo female travelers everywhere!

No Touch Monkey!: And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late by Ayun Halliday. Some of these stories are so dang funny I about split a gut. The author is usually traveling with a boyfriend, but this doesn’t keep her from finding herself in hairy situations that make for hilarious tales of adventure mishaps and cultural misunderstandings. One of my favorite parts is when she has to explain what the tampons in her bag are to a clueless soldier at an airport who evidently suspects they are ammunition of some kind.

Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: Adventures in Love and Danger, by Wendy Dale. Crazy and hilarious. I gasped, I cringed, I laughed. Her adventures are beyond any I’ve had, and I am very thankful for that! This book makes Eat, Pray, Love seem like reading Ikea bookcase assembly instructions in comparison.  

And no, I’m not going to recommend Eat, Pray, Love. I just couldn't relate, and hasn’t it gotten enough publicity? Haven't most of us women read it already anyway? 

There are so many great travel books out there, and there are so many more I intend to read. In the meantime, as you think about the coming new year and the adventure you may want to take or have already planned, don’t just read guidebooks and websites. Read some travel memoirs by other female travelers. And read some that are not about where you intend or wish to go. Use the books to spread your wings a bit. They will inspire you no matter what.  

If any of you out there have recommendations for other travel memoirs, please post them in the comments. I'd love to hear! 

Keep your eyes open.

The other week, I wrote to you about the possible perils of walking around with earbuds (see this post). Today I am going to address another sense – one that if you’ve got it, you had better use. I’m talking about vision. Open your eyeballs, people! Especially you lone female travelers out there. And I don’t mean to say that being vigilant isn’t necessary when you’re not traveling. Because things can happen anywhere, good or bad. But when you’re in a strange city, you’ve got to pay attention to your surroundings.

Be aware. You can look like you are in another world, but don’t actually be in another world. Enjoy the sights, hear the sounds, smell the smells and all that. But also be able to notice if someone is following you or eyeing your bag. And on that note, make sure you carry the bag or purse across your body, with the “goods” in front of you. If you’re carrying a daypack, carry it in front of you, especially when you’re in crowds. You would not believe how easy it is for someone to zip open that pack when it’s on your back and you won’t even notice it. Super easy.

When I am walking around a place – any place -- I notice details, like an awesome pair of shoes another woman is wearing as she passes me, or the cobalt blue window trim on a house, or the happy hour chirping of a tree full of canaries. And I notice the not-so-charming things as well. Like the guy urinating in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City as my friend and I walked by. I have seen plenty of guys urinate in public, in many different global locations. But they usually at least lean against a wall or fence or something. Not this guy. So maybe he wasn’t so difficult to notice.

Anyway, when I was visiting one particular city (and I’m not going to divulge what city this was because I don’t want people to think less of it or feel they cannot visit because of this one particular incident I am about to share), I had an experience that required vigilant eyes. I was walking by myself near the city center. It was almost dark, but there were several lights. There were many people walking about, so many that I had to bob and weave as I headed down the sidewalk. One man I walked passed looked at me and said something incomprehensible. He was speaking in drunken mumble. Or maybe it was strung-out-on-drugs mumble. I don’t know for sure. As I did with many people I passed, we had eye contact. No big whoop.

So I continued walking, and I went another couple blocks when I see this guy again. Might be a coincidence. But I’m not sure, so I walk around the corner and head toward a bar where someone I know works. There are many people there, it is very crowded, and I slip into the crowd quickly and nonchalantly, find a staff person and ask if my friend is working. She is not, and just as I turn back around toward the door, there is that guy again. I just know this is not a coincidence. He walks passed me, like he is not really looking at me. But I know better and make a beeline for the door, turn and head to the other end of the building where a woman is mopping the floor. I say to her, “There is a man following me.” She tells me to get into the office of a travel agent, where I find one of the owners of the agency. I told him what happened and pretty soon we can hear some drunkenly-slurred talking. That dude was outside! He followed me to the travel agency! He walked into the office! Luckily, the travel agent stepped in. He went outside his office and had a discussion with Mr. Grain Alcohol. I could hear them half arguing, although I didn’t catch all that was said. I just know the drunk guy was making little to no sense, and the travel agent was sternly telling him to get the hell out of there. Yeah, get the hell out of here!

After that, I sat in the office with the travel agent for a while, just to be safe. Pretty soon, the lady who was mopping the floor came back inside and said the crazy guy had left. He went back toward where the bar was, so I thanked the two who had helped, and quickly left out the backway, to head home in a speedy manner.

I don’t know what would’ve happened if I didn’t notice this guy following me. Maybe nothing. Maybe he would’ve tried to talk to me and I would’ve just walked away and that would’ve been that. But I doubt it. He was on something. He was being overly persistent. He was on a mission to catch up with me and I just knew I had to find a safe place, to get him away from me. I was lucky there were so many people around. I was lucky that the travel agency was open. And he was lucky I didn’t elbow him in the throat. Okay, that would probably be a bad idea unless absolutely necessary. I strongly advise steering clear of physical contact of any kind and just getting the hell away, like I did. Finding someone to help is always good, too. Finding a safe place, where there are other people is helpful. If you need to call the police, you can do it there.

You don’t have to stand on a dark corner, alone and defenseless. And you don’t have to go all Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill on someone either (although how cool was she?). But be aware of what is going on around you. You don’t have to be paranoid, you just have to use your senses. And your common sense. If you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, ask for help. It doesn’t have to be a big, strong man who comes to your aid. Sometimes just being with another person makes you an undesirable target. Just keep your eyes open, enjoy the sights, but stay safe.